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Domestic Violence
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Domestic Violence is a pattern of controlling, aggressive and
abusive behaviour from one adult towards another within the
contexts of an intimate relationship. This can be either a
one off incident or violence on a regular basis. Being hurt
by someone you love and trust is devastating, whether you are a
woman or a man.
Domestic Violence can affect everyone it has no boundaries, it
can affect lives regardless of age, gender, class, race,
disability, religion, culture or lifestyle.
It is difficult to know the true extent of domestic violence,
due to:-
- The hidden nature of the problem.
- Under-reporting
- Different understandings/definitions of domestic violence
Whether the domestic violence is psychological, financial,
emotional or physical, it comes from exerting power and control
over partners or family members. All situations are different
there are several common factors:
For example:
- Verbal abuse, such as shouting, name calling, mocking.
- Threatening to withhold money
- Threatening to commit suicide
- Taking the children away
- Telling you that you have no choice in any decisions.
- Keeping you from your friends or family.
- Harassment – checking up on you, opening your mail,
embarrassing you in public, unwanted texts
- Sexual violence – using force, threats or intimidation to make
you carry out sexual acts, rape jealousy
- Physical violence – punching, slapping, hitting, biting,
pinching, kicking, strangulation, broken bones, internal
injuries
- Denial – denying that any abuse is happening, blaming the
victim for the abuse, crying, and begging for forgiveness and
saying it will never happen again. It will.
1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence at some point in
their lives. 2 women a week are murdered by a current or former
partner. Men also experience domestic violence at the hands of
female and male partners; they often feel they are the only one it
has ever happened to. It is often harder for men to admit to
themselves or others that they have experienced abuse.
When does it begin?
Domestic Violence can begin at any time in a relationship and
increase in both severity and frequency over a period of
time. Violence can often begin or increase at the time
of pregnancy or when children are small.
What can you do?
Everybody has the right to live free from violence, threat or
fear, and to live safely in the own home. There are people
who can help you and there are things you can do to help
yourself
Speak to someone you trust. Contact Women’s Aid, Women Support
Services, The Domestic Violence Unit at your local Police Station,
Broken Rainbow. Male Helpline 0845 064 6800
If you have been assaulted
- Call the police
- Get medical help and talk to your doctor
If you are thinking about leaving
- Keep money for taxis, bus fares or phone calls
- Make sure you have credit on your phone
- Take any benefits books, passport and birth certificates – for
you and your children
- Take any medication for you/or children
- Keep a note of all useful numbers
- Tell someone that you trust that you are leaving.
- Plan leaving if at all possible.
In an EMERGENCY always call the police – 999
Women’s Aid National 24hr Domestic Violence helpline 0808 2000
247
http://www.womensaid.org.uk/
Refuge – http://www.refuge.org.uk/
Refuge 24 hr UK-wide Domestic Violence crisis line 08705 995
443
Shelter – housing/homelessness/housing advice – 0808 800
4444
Local Contact numbers
Police Domestic Violence Unit – 01622 690690
Women’s Support Services 01622 761146
Victim Support Maidstone& Malling 01622 690103
Maidstone Hospital01622729000